I'm Hungry!

Before I started this new journey I would eat a ton of food at every opportunity. When my daughter was out of school for the summer, sometimes I would stop at the croissant place on my way to work. I'd get 2 croissants, one for breakfast (usually blueberry) and one for lunch (usually ham and cheese). Inevitably, every time, I would end up eating both for breakfast and then head to Panda Express for the 3 item combo or to Taco Bell and get 3 items there or maybe to Subway, where I always got the 12 inch sub. Then when dinner rolled around (after I'd downed a bottle of wine) I'd eat until I was so full it was painful. This was a vicious cycle and I'd been doing it for years. It's no wonder I've gained over 100 pounds in the last 4 years! I often wonder just what it is that was making me eat so freakin' much food!

I'm hungry are two words that haven't really applied in my life for some time. Lately, I've been hungry a few times a day and it's WONDERFUL! I'm eating a reduced number of calories, but I'm eating those calories spread out in 5-6 "meals" each day. I've started to love things like yogurt and fruit. I rarely even think about fried food anymore. I get excited when I remember that I have a salad in the fridge to have for my afternoon snack. What a strange and healthy new way of thinking.

Giving up the wine has been more difficult than giving up the food. I'm still pretty proud of my effort however.

I LOVE rain. I love to sit on the couch with a cup of coffee, a fire in the fireplace, a quilt covering me, my dog snuggled up asleep and a good movie. I leave the windows open and I listen to the glorious sound that rain makes and breathe in the fresh scent. Fall and Winter are definitely my favorite times of year. Last Sunday was a rainy day and it wasn't a good thing.

About 3 years ago we had a small leak in the laundry room ceiling from the roof. I climbed up on the roof with some caulking and sealed the leak. The next year the leak was back, but now not just in the original place, but new places. This leak required several buckets. We tried to seal the leaks, with little success. Last year the leaks became even bigger. My husband had gone up on the roof to install a sun shield on his office window and stepped right through the rotted wood. The rotting just got worse as the rainy season continued and we just used more buckets. But the ceiling was cracking more and more with every storm.

Last Saturday it started raining and the ceiling was REALLY heavy with water. I did everything I could to cover that part of the roof. I went to bed feeling pretty good about my accomplishment. Sunday morning I woke up and went to check my handy work.....The floor in the laundry room was soaked and the water was literally pouring in. We were emptying a 5 gallon bucket every hour. I headed to Home Depot and Ace Hardware and I bought plastic sheeting and a staple gun and I did the best I could to cover the problem. I stood on the roof in the pouring rain. After many hours of cleaning up the mess and standing on the roof, I changed into some dry clothes, snuggled up with a blanket, fire in the fireplace, and tried to relax. And then I heard it....THUNK. Nikki said "What was that?" I just closed my eyes and said "I think it was the ceiling falling in." and sure enough, the ceiling gave way and now water was pouring in from so many spots I had to rush out and buy more buckets. I sat alone on my couch just crying. I felt so alone. There really wasn't anything more I could do. But the rain tapered off in the evening, so at least there wasn't any more water pouring into the house.

That night, I just wanted wine. I hadn't had any in a few days. I had held off buying some earlier when I went out to get buckets and plastic. But at the end of that monster of a day, I just wanted to have some wine. So I drank wine that night. I haven't had any since, but I'm not ashamed of myself and I'm not going to dwell on it. I did what I needed to do to make it through that day. I didn't over eat that day. I didn't go get a huge pizza and polish it off, and that was an accomplishment.

Monday morning one of the engineers at work asked how my weekend was and I said "Great, my ceiling fell and I have a huge hole in my roof." I explained the problem to him, the shape of my roof, etc. Long story short, he said "I can fix that. I can do a fix that will get you through this year at least." He had me take pictures and he and another engineer set about coming up with a plan to fix my problem. Yesterday the two of them spent about 4 hours buying supplies and assembling the boards, flashing and caulking on my roof and it only cost me about $60 in materials. I feel so blessed. I can't even think of a way to thank those guys. I was feeling so alone and unable to provide for myself and my daughter and out of nowhere came two guys who showed me that I'm not alone. And they didn't ask for anything in return, they just wanted to help me.

And now that my roof is somewhat whole again, it's time to get back to the business of helping myself. I've been doing a great job with my food choices and I'm not drinking. I've had more energy and I'm starting to take care of some much needed chores around the house. But I haven't been exercising like I need to and you know what....That's OK. I have made some awesome changes in last month. I'm on the road to getting healthy and I'm happier than I have been in years!!

I'm FURIOUSLY HAPPY! But that story is for another post.

So Much to Blog...So Little Time

I keep meaning to update my blog. It seems like things are happening that I get really excited about and if I don't blog about them right then, I lose steam...both with the excitement and the need to blog about the excitement.

Let's start with what I'm doing to get healthy and happy. I've started eating healthier. I do occasionally fall off the wagon but I haven't gone out for lunch (a BIG problem for me) in almost a month. I stock my office at work with healthy, balanced, low calorie, yummy food and I stick with that. On October 3rd I walked in my first ever 5K walk. It was a run/walk but I'm in no shape to run so I walked it. I walked with my Mom and I finished the race. We came in dead last by a long shot but I finished and the journey left me feeling so great!! The following weekend I walked my second 5K with my Mom and I beat my time from the previous week by 10 minutes. Still dead last, but still an awesome journey! I started walking around the block with Nikki right after the first 5K. I was doing well, for a few days, but I seem to have lost the motivation along the way. I have a long way to go. I need to lose about 100 pounds. But it can be done! My friend Alyshia lost even more weight that that through diet and exercise and now she's a personal trainer! And she's REALLY inspiring so I highly recommend you check out her blog if you're on a journey to do something that's really difficult.

This morning on my way to work I told Nikki that I need to exercise tonight. That I WILL run! I'm done with being happy with a walk around the block once every other day. It's a 1/2 mile, it's hardly the most effective exercise regimen. So, tonight I run. I will run until I don't think I can run anymore and then I'll run 20 more steps. There will be no shame or self doubt when I hit the wall...I will just walk it off and run again when I catch my breath. I CAN DO THIS! I WILL DO THIS! Also, wine is not my friend! I gave up hard alcohol in August (people who know me know this was a big deal) but I started drinking wine. Wine has soooooo many calories and the carbohydrates are ridiculous! Wine is not my friend. I need to drink more water....and probably a lot of decaf coffee when the weather cools. I know even decaf coffee has some caffeine and it's no substitute for water, but I really love it!

Nikki is doing really well. She has been running every day. She also ran the previously mentioned 5K's with my friend Kathy, who is another truly inspirational person that I feel lucky to have in my life! Nikki is vegan, so her diet is already pretty healthy. She also just started conditioning for softball 2 days a week. The season doesn't start til February, but they're getting an early start on training this year. School is going well for her, as usual. I really love that girl! Being her Mom is truly the most awesome gift I have ever received!

So, taht's what's new. I'm doing what I can to get to a healthier me! I've lost 2 pounds....only 98 to go. But stay tuned! Cause it's gonna be a long and wild ride!

No, REALLY...we're moving

This "We have to move" thing has really been dragging out but it really is getting closer. We have filled out paperwork for the Federal relief but we know we won't qualify and it's just buying time. So Nicole and I started de-cluttering this weekend. MAN OH MAN! Our upstairs landing looks like a mini-episode of Hoarders with all the stuff we have set out to donate! We usually get those "donation bags" in the mail at least once a week. The ones that let you know when the charity will be in your neighborhood and then you just leave the stuff on the curb for pick-up. I hope they plan to bring a big truck! I'm almost embarrassed to leave all that stuff on the curb for all of my neighbors to see. But, I can't wait to get it all out of the house! I think we'll go for round two this weekend. My closet is a weekend project all on its own!

Bill is planning a trip home in a couple of weeks to pick up the last of his things to take to Oregon. Since he isn't planning to move back to California, I don't see any reason to move his stuff when Nicole and I finally move. I want as little "stuff" as possible. Simple and clean..that will be our new motif!

I've started looking at rental houses and duplexes. I think we'll be able to find something nice, within our budget. I look every day and I just know that when we're ready, the right house will be there and we'll be OK. I think I'm due a little good karma these days! I just want something afordable, close to the high school and willing to take my dogs. Is that so much to ask?

Yesterday Nicole started her Sophomore year of high school. Here's to another gret year!!

Moving....

It's getting closer to the time that Nicole and I are going to have to pack up our house for the move. I'm dreading it. I keep trying to look at the bright side, that we will get the chance to declutter and start fresh. That we will have a smaller home, which seems easier to keep clean (at least in my mind), that we will get rid of all the things we don't need. But moving is such a stressful undertaking. I almost wish we could find the perfect house, move what we want to move and throw everything else in a giant dumpster and be done with it. I'm hoping to have a garage sale to rid of some things, and make some money for the move. I'll be donating a lot of stuff to Goodwill because I have a lot of clothes that don't fit me and if I were to ever actually lose the weight I want to lose, the clothes wouldn't really be in style anymore. There's no need to move them. I have some things I'd like to freecycle or give away and there are a lot of things that just need to be thrown away. Bill has taken most of his things to Oregon, but there are still many things in the house that belong to him that we have to either have him take, or have him store. I don't want to have a house full of unnecessary stuff. I want it to be clean and organized!

I guess the best we can do is start slow and move forward and hope that it all goes as smootly as it can.

Shooting Stars...

Last night, my daughter went for a walk with a BOY! They went up and sat on the levee and watched the meteor shower. Dear God...When did my daughter start liking boys!? I'm doomed.

I Wonder......

I wonder how my husband got to be 56 years old without managing to become self-sufficient? It's interesting that when he was planning his move to Oregon, he was really concerned about how Nicole and I would do without him. He put off leaving for several days because he feared we would not be OK. I kept assuring him that we would be just fine. We have, in fact, been just fine. I've managed to get on with my daily life, even without his constant nagging and complaining and the complete absence of nasty-grams left on post-it notes in various places around the house. Bill however.....he seems to be having a tough time. Let's go over a sampling of some of the things he has either called, emailed or text me about:

He couldn't remember where he left his wallet from the night before.
I think this was the part where I was supposed to magically know where he left it, even from 500 miles away.

He decided he wanted to get goats so he wouldn't have to mow the meadow, or hire someone else to mow it. He wanted me to check craigslist because he had no idea how much goats cost. He figured he would just tie them to a tree with a long rope and they would eat the meadow and life would be wonderful.
This is the part where I suggested he go to the library (he doesn't have Internet access at the house yet) and research goats before he goes out and buys a few. I also told him, that my limited amount of knowledge on the subject of goats, was that they would eat ANYTHING, including the "ropes" he intended to tie them to. I don't think goat farming is as easy as picking up a cat to get rid of your mice.

He couldn't figure out how to get his margin right on a Word document and wanted me to give him step-by-step instructions on how to get his entire document to line up the way he wanted it.
First...I have been using Word 2003 for a long time. He was using Word 2007. which I also have, but I hate it. Why can't Microsoft just leave stuff alone? Anyway...I tried to help him, but I was at work at the time and I didn't have a ton of time to walk him through it and try to get a document (that I couldn't even see) to look like he wanted it to look. He got mad, and said "FINE". Like I really did know how to fix it but just wanted him to suffer.

Every night when we talk he has to get his "Julie List" with a list of things he's thought of throughout the day that he either needs to tell me or needs me to do for him.
I'm still working 40 hours a week, raising a teenage daughter, taking care of the house and the dogs. Seriously, the man is retired. Why is he still so much work??

Remember When Summer Meant Vacation?

So here we are in August. I can't believe the summer is going by so quickly and it seems like I haven't seen much of Nicole. She's off doing fun summer stuff with her friends. Remember those days? When summer meant 3 whole months of just playing around with friends? Nicole went to Orlando for 10 days and had a great time with her BFF and family. She liked Epcot Center best. She tried all new kinds of foods and didn't do the vegan thing while she was there. She came home late on Thursday of last week and left Friday morning to spend some time with her Dad. She'll be home tomorrow and then she's going to Lake Tahoe for the weekend with the same BFF that she went to Orlando with. That's the way summer should be. Carefree and fun!

Still Nothing.....

It's been almost a month since my last blog. There isn't really anything interesting going on in my life but I'll do a quick update, just so i don't forget to keep blogging away....

1. Bill finally left for Oregon on the 16th of June. He left a BUNCH of his stuff and the house is still in complete disarray! My plan of getting it all cleaned up seems to have been put on the back burner in favor of doing absolutely nothing.

2. Nicole finished out her Freshman year of high school and her grades were great! She is now going to a voluntary summer school program for 4 weeks designed to prep the incoming Sophomores for AP World History next year. The worst part about this is that the class is being held at the University and it's a pain in the butt to get her there and back for the 9:00 - 2:00 class every day. Seems like all the stay at home Moms got carpools together and we couldn't find a ride buddy for Nicole. So she comes to work with me at 7:30, we leave work at 8:30 to take her to class and then I wait to take my lunch break until 2:00 so I can pick her up, take her home, and get back to work by 3:00. It's killing me in gas costs! Luckily we only have 4 days left after today.

3. Nicole is leaving on the 20th to go to Disney world for 10 days! She's going with her BFF and her family and I know she's going to have LOADS of fun!

4. My cousin Nick and his girlfriend, who were living in Portland, OR, are staying with us until the middle or end of August. They also brought their chihuahua. They're also vegan. Yeah....VEGAN! No meat, dairy, eggs not even HONEY! Haven't they seen The Bee Movie?? Do you know what happens when the bees stop making honey? The health of the whole world is at stake here! Anyway....they cook every night and have made some really awesome vegan meals. I can't complain about any of the cooking, it's fabulous! The only problems...I personally am an omnivore, as it turns out and my daughter has decided that she is Vegan. I'm pushing extra vitamins and calcium on her like a crack dealer. I'm also trying to convince her that she should switch to vegetarian when Nick and Rose leave because I NEED MEAT AND CHEESE! The chihuahua and my pit bull do add hours of free entertainment for us, however. That tiny dog walked into our house, laid down the law and the pit bull has obeyed her ever since. It's quite comical. My black lab could really care less about either of the other dogs and just wants to be left alone.

5. I cut off almost all of my hair, about 10 inches. I donated the bulk of it to Locks of Love I figured, since I'm quickly closing in on 40 years old, I just looked silly with such long hair. I really like it!

6. In 10 days I'm going to Vegas and I can't wait to have a 4 day weekend of fun with my friends! I'm so ready to have a vacation!! I've been working my butt off at work to get everything caught up by then.

I think that's all the goods on us for now.

Getting Closer

The UHaul has been picked up and moved into the driveway. I think that means my husband is getting closer to his departure date, but it's hard to tell with him. It doesn't seem like he's packed near enough stuff, yet the house is starting to look empty. I don't ask when he plans to leave because he always accuses me of nagging when I do. And I'm am the least naggy spouse EVER!

I've put off cleaning lately because cleaning while someone is moving just doesn't work. This weekend I plan to completely clean the house! Reorganize, re-arrange, dust, vacuum.....Just the thought of a completely clean house makes me giddy!

Nicole will be going to stay with her Dad this weekend, we bought his Father's Day gifts yesterday. So I could, conceivably, have the whole weekend completely alone! I can't wait to bask in the silence. Now if I can just stay awake!

The Long Haul

My husband is officially retired. After 30 years in public education, both as a teacher and a school counselor, he has finished his career. I can't even begin to imagine the number of children, whose lives he touched. And now, at the relatively young age of 56 he gets to begin his life again.

Last year around this time we bought a house on the Oregon Coast. It's such a beautiful pieces of property. Twelve acres of forest and grass and you can hear the ocean from the deck, even if we can't actually see it from there. It's so quiet, magnificent and peaceful. It's cool in the summer and not too cold in the winter. We bought this house so that my husband could move there when he retired. We made this plan years ago. Knowing he would retire before my daughter would graduate from high school, we knew that he would go alone, until Nicole was ready to go to college.

So, here we are....My husband is moving to Oregon soon. He was planning to leave on Monday, but he has never been on time in his life. When he said the 7th of June my daughter and I started making bets....I said the 10th, Nicole said the 14th. Suffice it to say that he hasn't even started packing yet, so the 7th is clearly not the day. Nicole may have even been giving the benefit of the doubt when she gave him an entire week more than he had planned.

I wonder what the house will look like with of all his things gone. We have lived in our house for 8 years and a family can accumulate a lot of stuff in 8 years that really isn't necessary. Since Nicole and I will be moving to a smaller house soon, we really will have to downsize. I'm actually looking forward to the major purge of stuff. It's times like this that I find myself wishing I were Bewitched, and I could just wiggle my nose and it would all be done. Packing and moving is so stressful and having to do it alone is probably going to be even worse.

So we start the long haul....

A Little Girl Time

I love my husband and my dogs and I really enjoy a nice quiet weekend at home with my family…..but every once in awhile I love to spend time with my girlfriends.

This weekend my daughter and I are headed to Fresno for a birthday party for one of my great friends. I haven’t seen her since her bachelorette party (I didn’t make it to the wedding) and I can’t wait to spend some time pool side with her and her family. There’s something so special about spending time with old friends.

In July I’ll be heading to Las Vegas with my friend Kat, who has been my best friend since we were in kindergarten together. We’re having a gathering of a bunch of people from our high school class and it should be a ton of fun! When Kat and I get together we have SO MUCH FUN! It often requires frequent trips to the bathroom to make sure we don’t wet ourselves from laughing so hard. There is no substitute for a friend like Kat. I’m blessed to have her!

Dinner and Shopping

I don't really mind making dinner. It isn't the "making" part that I have trouble with. I'm a pretty good cook and I have come up with some pretty tasty dinners just throwing together a bunch of stuff that seems like it would taste good together. The part I don't like is deciding. I seem to have a complete mental block when it comes to deciding what to make for dinner. I have been to the grocery store every day this week because I just get some overwhelmed with the idea of what to make for dinner. It's all I can do to decide what to have that night, let alone the next night.

Years ago, when I was younger and married to a man who was much easier to feed I would make an entire weeks menu, make my grocery list, shop on Saturday and be set for a week. Those days are LONG over!

Here's part of the problem...My husband doesn't really like carbs. I KNOW!? WHAT?? I could live on bread and pasta. So, he doesn't like rice, pasta, potatoes...everything good. He also doesn't like white meat chicken or turkey. My daughter has recently started on a health kick. She exercises every day and insists on eating whole grains, white meat, etc. So now what?? I seriously feel like buying a bag of wheat bagels, a bag of white bagels a jar of Skippy and a jar of Natural peanut butter and telling them to go for it. But alas...I must make healthy, nutritious meals that we can all sit down and enjoy together.

As I was writing this post my daughter text messaged me (I'm at work and she is at home) "Are you going to the store?" I answer "yes", she knows I am because she knows we have nothing for dinner at the house. She begs to go with me and says she will even wait outside for me so I don't have to get out of the car. Maybe she'll decide what to have for dinner. Probably not. Last night when I was in the store I text her and said "I can't make a decision about dinner!" and she text back "don't ask me!" Ahhh...harmony. I made spinach ravioli, salad and cauliflower. But in roughly 30 minutes I'm going to be standing in the grocery store again with the same dread.

The End of Furlough Friday

Almost a year ago my company started mandated furlough days. We had to take 16 hours off each calendar month but we were allowed to chose how we wanted to take that time. I chose to take 4 hours each Friday. So, for the last year I have only had to work until noon on Friday. In the beginning it was tough to get used to the cut in pay but the joy of having that 4 hours off soon over shadowed the pain of the loss of funds. Normally my daughter gets a ride home from school from another Mom who doesn't work outside the home. What a saving grace that Mom has been for us! If you're a SAHM and you give rides to a child who's Mom works, you have no idea how much she appreciates you! But on Friday, since I'm off at noon, I get to pick Nicole up and we do something fun like watch a show together or go to Starbucks and get yummy drinks. Last Friday however, we were informed that business is picking up and the furloughs have come to an end. There was a big cheer when the announcement was made. I didn't feel like cheering. I'm going to miss that free time and the time I have been spending with my daughter. But I'm glad that business is picking up. That means my job is a little more secure.

In updated news.....I went to the dentist last Thursday and GREAT NEWS! They thought I was really really special and I guess they're going to make me a Queen or something! I go back in 2 weeks for my crown. I guess that six month wait between when they said I needed to have the filling replaced and when I went again this time made a filling replacement no longer an option. Shoot!

I'm Lazy!

There I said it! I think I am the laziest person I know. I would rather sleep all weekend then do just about anything else. I LOVE TO SLEEP. I always feel bad on Sunday night that I slept away the weekend, but at the time it feels so wonderful. I should clean more, exercise a little, do fun things with my husband and my daughter, take the dogs to the dog park.....But I sleep. I'm also very overweight. The two are most probably connected, but I chose to ignore the obvious. So, I have landed myself in a catch-22. Being overweight is exhausting. Try going down to the store and picking enough bags of flour to equal 60 pounds, strap it on your body for a day and see how tired you are at the end of the day. Now, try exercising with said flour strapped to your body. Yeah...that's my life. I don't know exactly how I let it get so out of control. Well....I DO know how. I LOVE carbs! LOVE LOVE LOVE carbs. I could live on pasta and bread for the rest of my life and be perfectly content, and fat. At some point I really need to think about changing the cycle. But it's Thursday and I have my eye on a sleep filled weekend. I'll think about exercising again another day.

Pregnancy Test

My daughter and I had a wonderful Mother's Day together. We went out for lunch at Macaroni Grill and ate way too much. It was so tasty! We ate so much we didn't even want dinner. It's nice to do that occasionally. After lunch we stopped by the grocery store for a few necessary items and Nicole says to me, casually "Can we buy a pregnancy test for M?" This is someone that she has know for a few years at school, not a girl I would call her "friend" but they talk occasionally. I remained very calm. I casually said back "Is she afraid to talk to her Mom?" My daughter responded "Yes. She said if she IS pregnant she isn't going to tell her Mom until she's so big she can't hide it anymore." I'm still calm "I will buy her the test. But if she is pregnant she is going to need to see a doctor. She can't wait until she is noticeably pregnant to talk to her parents. Will you tell her that I will buy her the test if she promises that if she's pregnant she will come over to our house and discuss it?" That was the deal. So, off to school my daughter went today with a pregnancy test in her back pack. And I remained calm.

I sure hope that M isn't pregnant. I hope that she will start using protection if she continues to have sex. I hope that my daughter will remain abstinent until marriage as she has vowed to do. I hope that if she doesn't remain abstinent that she will be able to talk to me and we can deal with it together. I hope she doesn't have to text a friend and ask that friend's Mom to buy a test. Mostly, I hope that my daughter continues to trust me and know that whatever she needs to tell me, I will remain calm.

Nicole is my only child. I'm not experienced with how to parent a teenage girl. I'm not sure what the right thing to do here was. Should I have called M's Mom and told her right away, even though I've never met her? Should I have told Nicole to tell her friend that I won't buy the test? Should I call the school and tell a counselor? I don't know that there is even a "right" answer here. I made the best decision I could, based on the circumstances. My husband is a middle school counselor and he deals with this kind of thing on a regular basis. I went to him for advice and we made a decision that seemed like it was the best thing to do.

Throughout all this, I remained calm. Is that even normal?

A Home Run

My daughter is 14 years old. She has always been really bright and school has always been relatively easy for her. She skipped 3rd grade and didn't miss a beat. This year, her first year of high school, she decided she wanted to try softball. She had never played a sport before. Her first few practices were tough, she felt so much less talented then all the other girls on the team. She tossed around the idea of quitting the team, but stuck it out. When I picked her up from her very first game she was in tears. She felt so inadequate, even though she hadn't played badly. She didn't quit, she kept at it. The first few games she spent a lot of time warming the bench. Mid-way through the season some of the better players were put on academic probation and Nicole started to play every game. She has improved so much! During one game a couple of weeks ago she was hit hard in the upper arm with a line drive and managed to catch that ball before it hit the ground for a super play! She was crying from the pain and laughing from the joy all at the same time. Things have really started to look up! Last night she hit her first home run. What a moment!! I am so proud of the effort she has put in and the progress she has made. I love watching my daughter blossom.

Preparing to be A Single Mom....Again

My husband is moving to a different state next month. My daughter and I are not. Weird, huh? We aren't getting divorced or separated (in the legal sense), we're just going to live in different states. It's going to be a financial and emotional stretch, but we can do this.

There are exciting things that come with this new life. Nicole and I are moving into a smaller house. We're selling our current house and she and I will rent something in the area so she can finish high school where she started. I'm excited about getting rid of some of the "junk" we have had in our house for the last 8 years. Moving is always a great way to purge the unnecessary stuff a family accumulates. I'm excited about eating more chicken and turkey and not having my husband beg for beef. I'm excited to be able to have so much one-on-one time with my daughter for the last 3 years that she will be living at home. I'm not worried about our safety, we have dogs that are better than any fancy security system.

There are also some scary things. Will we be able to afford everything we need and occasionally something we want? I mean, I have a teenage girl, the "wants" are endless. Will we be able to find a house that will allow us to have 2 large dogs? Will the neighbors in the new house be quiet and friendly?

Mostly I'm excited. Being a single Mom again is a little scary, but I'm looking forward to this special time with my daughter. I'm so lucky she's mine!

I'm a Procrastinator

I admit it, I procrastinate.....BADLY. I have a tendency to think that I'm going to do things that I don't end up doing. One fine example is these 30-day "free trial" offers for various services on the Internet. I have memberships to so many things that I pay for every month that I haven't used since the first day of the "free trial" and yet, I don't ever cancel them before the end of the 30-days and I end up paying for things for months (or years) that I never use. Sure, I see them on my bank statement and when I do, I say to myself "I MUST stop that membership." I don't. Recently my bank was bought by another bank and so I received a new Visa/Debit card with a new account number. HA! That stopped all of those memberships. Sadly, it was by no act of my own that I now save about $85/mo.

That leads me to today's issue....a toothache. It's been almost six months since I last went to the dentist for my routine cleaning. At the time the dentist informed me that I needed to have one of my fillings replaced. I made the appointment and then something came up and I cancelled that appointment, with every intention of rescheduling. I didn't. Of course. And so, like the pain of the $85/mo I was giving away like I had all the money in the world....I now have a toothache in that tooth that I was warned about almost 6 months ago. Luckily I have an appointment scheduled for next week for my routine cleaning. Here's hoping the tooth can be saved because a root canal does not sound like fun. And I bet it'll cost me more than $85.

The Beginning and the End?

I have tried blogging before. I have created so many blogs that have never been made public or been lost somewhere in cyber space. I read so many blogs every day. I always think..."Hey, I should start blog!" but then I realize I have very little to blog about. My life stays relatively the same day after day. I know I can't be the only person in the world with this issue. But, here I am again giving it a try. This may be my only post on this blog, but I have to start somewhere.